Years passed and I grew older, but never did my love waver. I gave my all to prove that I am worth of your love. Or atleast I tried, as you know, it's either I do the bare minimum or give my hundred and one. No in between, I think. I've been doing things with you in my mind, almost every little thing I do is for you.
I was firm in my decision, stubborn to the extent that I constantly convince myself that no matter how things may be, I'll never give up. Maybe, that's what keeps me going, because I know that you are worth fighting for.
Then came the day that I was closer to you than ever. If before, you were just a dream, slowly, you are becoming my reality. That no matter how hard you try to push me away by being so distant, I've been keeping my calm and been hoping you will be swayed.
But a year later, my love proves to be not enough, I lost you. I thought I was giving you my best, but then, I disappointed you, I was disappointed at myself. My once optimistic mindset felt so foreign to me.
Then I saw you running away. That's when I began questioning every decision I've made to be where I was. That yes, I am too blinded by my love for you that I became too close minded, I was, maybe, I still am. Or that maybe, we are just not meant to be.
For weeks, it felt like I died. Like a lost soul looking for my life's purpose. Slowly, I too was fading away.
But then, by some miracle, a second chance was given to us. I promised myself that no matter how hard this road to a second chance is, I'll make it, even if it kills me. A few unexpected challenges came, but then, you've started giving me hope. We are now closer than I once imagined!
Again, a major setback happened. However, it, still, was not the end. I fought again, making sure that this time, we'll be together.
Now, I am writing this because I owe you this moment, my last love letter to you. A small token for the gratitude I would like to express for the years we've spent together. For now I have found a new love, that I hope will love me as much as you did.
To my dear first love, law (school) - my jealous mistress, I love you and good bye!
To San Beda College Alabang, School of Law, my home away from home, thank you for the five years that thought me a lot about pain and letting go. HAHAHA. Thank you for giving me friends that are for keeps. for teaching me how to feel, for showing me my emotions** hahaha.
*show end credits*
The Translation:
From the moment I saw you, I knew you are the one. Like magic, I really felt it in that instant! Young and naive as I may be, ganyan ako ka-confident na I will win you over! I had a lot of things that I was praying for every night but you, my love, is the one thing I've been constantly praying for.
Ang iba gusto maging guro, ang iba doctor, ang iba engineer, ang ilan sa amin gusto maging abogado. Basic reason ko nun eh dahil madaling idrawing ang "lawyer" - babae na may dalang briefcase, pwede na. Marami akong pangarap at hangarin, pero yung laging dasal ko sana... balang araw... maging abogado ako.
Years passed and I grew older, but never did my love waver. I gave my all to prove that I am worth of your love. Or atleast I tried, as you know, it's either I do the bare minimum or give my hundred and one. No in between, I think. I've been doing things with you in my mind, almost every little thing I do is for you.
Lumipas ang mga taon, pero gusto ko pa rin maging abogado. Sinubukan kong maging okay yung grades ko, pati ituon ang mga libreng oras sa pagbabasa. Sa pag-aaral, either masstress ako dahil sa groupmates at gagawin na lang ang lahat, o gagawin na lang yung mga assignment ng last minute. Yun lang, ata. Pakiramdam ko, bawat assignment or exam na tinake ko before law school, in preparation for law school. Hanep! Pero tamad talaga kong magabsorb ng mga bagay? Grade 1 ata ko noong narealize ko na, bat ko kailangan mabilis sumagot ng multiplication table nasstress lang yung utak ko, sayang space pang law school ko din. And so from then on, ganyan nagwowork yung utak ko, "sayang space, for law school din to!"
I was firm in my decision, stubborn to the extent that I constantly convince myself that no matter how things may be, I'll never give up. Maybe, that's what keeps me going, because I know that you are worth fighting for.
Maraming nagtatanong bakit nga ba ko nag Legal Management? Simple lang, kasi gusto ko talaga mag law. Alam kong worth it e. Bat ko pa ba pahihirapan ang sarili ko magisip, kung alam ko naman talaga na isa lang yung gusto ko. Ang tigas ng ulo, ano?
Then came the day that I was closer to you than ever. If before, you were just a dream, slowly, you are becoming my reality. That no matter how hard you try to push me away by being so distant, I've been keeping my calm and been hoping you will be swayed.
At ayun na nga, come third year college, nabigyan ako ng opportunity na matanggap sa isang law school. Pakiramdam ko nun, binigay na ni Lord ang lahat. Yung feeling na, this is it! Wala na tong atrasan, meant to be na talaga tong pagaaral ko.
But a year later, my love proves to be not enough, I lost you. I thought I was giving you my best, but then, I disappointed you, I was disappointed at myself. My once optimistic mindset felt so foreign to me.
Hehe, long story short, one year after, natanggal ako sa Ateneo. Akala ko nag-aaral ako eh, pero hindi siya sapat. Sobrang naiinis ako sa sarili ko. Pakiramdam ko, pinagsakluban talaga ako ng langit at lupa. Walang sense lahat ng bagay! Gusto ko na lang talaga makalimot.
Then I saw you running away. That's when I began questioning every decision I've made to be where I was. That yes, I am too blinded by my love for you that I became too close minded, I was, maybe, I still am. Or that maybe, we are just not meant to be.
Sa panahong lumabas ang mga bagsak kong grades, tinanong ko ng maraming beses yung sarili ko, bakit ba kasi ang tigas ng ulo mo? Bakit mo ba pinipilit ang law school? Hindi naman yan para sayo eh! Hindi ka magaling. Ang selfish selfish mo self.
For weeks, it felt like I died. Like a lost soul looking for my life's purpose. Slowly, I too was fading away.
Araw, o linggo rin yata yung lumipas. Pakiramdam ko namatay ako. Nawalan ako ng saysay sa buhay. Walang purpose. Useless. Kinakain ako ng sarili kong mga negative thoughts. Ayoko na lang ulit.
But then, by some miracle, a second chance was given to us. I promised myself that no matter how hard this road to a second chance is, I'll make it, even if it kills me. A few unexpected challenges came, but then, you've started giving me hope. We are now closer than I once imagined!
Pero parang isang milagro, kinausap ako ng magulang ko, bat di ko daw subukan ulit. Dito ko naisip na tuloy ang pangarap, sige self, tama na yang self-pity. Umayos ka. Actually, ang original plan ko talaga eh magaral sa malayo. Mga tipong Mindanao or Visayas or Baguio. Baka panahon na para umalis sa comfort zone ko. Pero ending, malayo pa rin naman ang Alabang sa Navotas, kaya dito ako sa San Beda College Alabang nagpatuloy mangarap.
Again, a major setback happened. However, it, still, was not the end. I fought again, making sure that this time, we'll be together.
Dapat ay noong nakaraang taon pa ko gagraduate. Alam niyo na yun. Pero hindi eh. May pain, pero alam kong hindi yun yung katapusan. Laban lang ulit. Hindi ko pa oras, darating din ako dun. Kaya for one year, lutang lutang with 3 subjects. Laban lang talaga.
Now, I am writing this because I owe you this moment, my last love letter to you. A small token for the gratitude I would like to express for the years we've spent together. For now I have found a new love, that I hope will love me as much as you did.
Ngayon, sinusulat ko ito dahil sa huling pagkakataon ay kakausapin kita, last love letter. Maliit na pagkakataong aking nais ialay sayo, para sa anim na taon ng ating pagsasama. Maraming salamat at hindi mo ako sinukuan, maraming salamat sa pagiging isang pangarap na aking natupad. Dahil sa pagkakataong ito, panahon na para magmahal ako ng iba - ang bar, at sana, mas mahalin niya ako tbh. Hahaha.
To my dear first love, law (school) - my jealous mistress, I love you and good bye!
Okay, jealous mistress ang law sabi ni Joseph Story. First year ko pa lang nun sa Ateneo, dinrill na yan sa utak ko. Ang pagaaral sa law school ay nagangailan ng isang daang porsyento ng oras at dedikasyon. Minsan, more than 100% pa nga.
Paalam law school, mahal kita.
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