Conflicted

You've always been confused. By a lot of things. You pretend to know things, but you don't. Right now, you're torn between giving a damn and not giving a rat ass about anyone/anything. Most times, you can survive without any human interaction only feeling thankful that, at the end of the day, there's someone to talk to you.

You were never self conscious. Even when you were younger, you did not care. There are times when the concept of beauty crosses your mind, but there's nothing a bottle of milk nor a truckload of food couldn't solve. You tried hard back then and that's when it started. When instead of focusing on your own growth, you've been clouded by the constant need to please, everybody.

Growing up, you just wanted to make people around you happy. This is probably the reason why you never developed any skill nor trait that rises up to others. You've done and tried hard on doing a lot of things, but you never excelled. You're just good, but that's not enough.

You are convincing yourself that you are following your dreams, that you are doing the thing you love, but in reality... it haunts you. That very same dream terrifies you. Of the hardships, the future, the unknown. That's always been an issue.

But after watching a few movies, binge-watching on some series, and reading a few books... there's one thing you'll have to learn and that is... EVERYTHING WILL BE ALL RIGHT. Surrender yourself to the moment, it'll all be great!