DEBUT: JASMINE @ EIGHTEEN plus dengue

Sa tuwing may magbabanggit ng BIRTHDAY lagi may kadugtong yun na DEBUT. 

Hello! 

Eto na ang paglalabas ng aking saloobin sa nangyari sa akin halos 2 buwan na ang nakalipas.

A few days before my debut, birthday ko. Excited kong pinalitan ang profile picture ko nang larawan mula sa pre-debut shoot ko. With caption ng kaunting lyrics mula sa BREAKAWAY "I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly. I'll do what it takes 'til I touch the sky. And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change, and breakaway." Nagcomment yung ilang mga kaibigan ko tungkol dito ang sabi ko lang "see you sa sabado." Tuesday yung birthday ko, so FOUR DAYS before The Main Event. I remember wishing nothing for that birthday, since I believed that I already have everything (+ a debut that I always dreamed for having). 

So days passed, parang wala lang. HAHA. Sobrang parang, kahit na pumapasok ako. Di ko na mafeel yung bawat araw na nagdadaan, eh kasi nga excited na excited na ko.  Dumating pa nga yung THURSDAY eh, unang araw ko yun sa pagBISITA kay Saint Jude Thaddeus sa loob ng Malacañang. Feeling ko kasi birthday week ko kaya gusto kong puntahan yung mga bagay na gusto kong puntahan. Feel na feel ko yung solemnity ng Novena dalangin ko lang noon ay isang successful na celebration sa sabado. Bumili pa nga ako ng Puto at Kutchinta ehhh! (pero hindi yun yung binibili kong masarap ngayon hahaha). 

FRIDAY -- sa kabila ng mahihirap na mga subjects, parang sobrang wala lang din. Ang alam ko lang, BUSCALC, yung huling subject ko para sa araw na iyon, ay mayroon sobrang labong discussion tungkol sa DEMAND and SUPPLY. Nakaramdam ako ng panlalamig sa buong katawan, naka-corporate attire ako noon at nakalimutang magsuot ng blazer kaya ginaw na ginaw ako. Pagtapos ng klase, naalala ko ngang napagusapan pa namin ng kaklase ko na si Jewel na sobrang lamig sa loob ng room. Paglabas ay umuwi agad ako at sinabi agad kay Kuya Danny na mukhang giniginaw ako. Sabi ni Kuya Danny, wala lang daw yun, kaya natulog ako. Alam ko nasa pier na kami, pero di pa din gumaganda yung pakiramdam ko dahil parang giniginaw pa din ako. Hinayaan ko lang kasi baka malamig lang talaga. 

Paguwi ko sa bahay, uminom agad ako ng biogesic, at agad din kumain ng paborito kong nissin cup seafood (yung parang pangchinese kaya mas maraming laman). Sabi ko kay mama "hindi maganda yung pakiramdam ko" Sabi ni mama debut-jitters lang daw yun! Pagkatapos kong kumain ay nagdali akong nagbihis para naman magsukat ng gown ko. Unang kita ko pa lang sa gown ko, alam kong, hindi siya basta-basta. Hindi katulad ng mga nakita ko na sa iba pang mga debut. 

Sinabi ko kasi kay Tito Dani Villaflor, gusto ko hindi design yung magdadala sa damit. Yung bang pakiramdam na pagsuot ko yung damit kahit maganda siya, mas maganda pa din ako. Tapos noon ay sinukat ko din yung pamalit kong kulay pink (na wala akong larawan. haha). Habang nagsusukat ay nakakaramdam ako ng panghihina. Ewan! Lagnat excitement dawww! I was like, wth ang epal ng lagnat na to!!!

Paguwi, natulog agad ako. AT DOON NA NAGSIMULA ANG KALBARYO KO.

• natulog akong giniginaw
• paghiga ko pa lang sa kama mataas na yung temperature ko nasa 37.5 degrees ata.
• hindi ako gaano makatulog. sobrang umiiyak ako, yung tipong "Lord naman dami-daming araw bat ngayon pa? Sige na po sa isang araw na lang pleaseeee?"
• hindi na mapalagay pati si mama maya't maya niya akong kinakamusta sa pagbabakasakaling bubuti pa ang aking pakiramdam
• agad kong tinext si Kim, Mark, at Abby at sinabing masama pakiramdam ko. 
• hindi ko maalala kung ako ba ang tumawag, basta nakausap ko si Kim habang humihikbi
• nagpahinga ako ng kaunti 
• at maya-maya'y heto si Mark at dumarating. matagal din siyang nanatili sa bahay sa pagbabakasakiling bubuti din ang aking pakiramdam kung sasamahan niya ako
• nakausap ko din si Abby pero medyo okay na ang pakiramdam ko (sa pagaakala ko)
• mag-te-10 PM na nung kinuhaan ako ng muli ng temperature at napagalaman naming umkyat na ito sa 38
• nakatulog ako ng mga ilang oras, at pagkauwi ni Papa, chineck ulit nila yung temperature ko at nalamang nasa 40-40.5 na yung temperature ko
• alas dose ng gabi instead na nagbebeauty rest ako para sa debut, ay naglalakbay kami papuntang Manila Doctors. 
• pagdating doon, NAGSUKA pa ako. nakagaan yun ng pakiramdam ko (sa pagaakla ko lang)
• tinignan ako ng mga doctor pero wala naman silang nakita, hindi pa ako maDENGUE TEST dahil wala pa namang 24 na oras ang lagnat ko. kaya ang ginawa nila ay pinagpahinga lang ako. nagulat ang mga nurse noon sa emergency nung nalamang debut ko pa MAMAYA, kaya't pinagpahinga lang nila ko. Hindi din ako komportable sa aking pagkakatulog ko. Kaya't maya maya din ang supply ko ng BIOGESIC, maya't-maya din ang aking pagsuka. Sabi kaya daw ako nagsusuka dahil sa taas ng aking lagnat (hello onga naman umabot ako ng 41.5 !!! wth!)
• magaalas-syete ng umaga ng pauwiin kami. at sinabing wala naman daw. awang-awa sakin yung mga nurse kasi bat sa dinami-dami ng araw na magkakasakit ay doon pa. mabuti na lang daw at nakapagpahinga ako kahit paano. 
• pagkauwi, nagpahinga ulit ako (sa pagaakalang okay na ko). naalala ko 11 AM dapat ay magchecheck-in na kami sa HOTEL. Pero halos 2PM na kami nakaalis ng bahay.

 

• akala ni papa, nagiinarte lang ako na di makatayo. pero seryoso, yung feeling na susuka ka any minute pag tumayo ka ng matagal
• yun na siguro yung pinaka bonggang moment sa buhay ko, kasi, nakawheelchair akong pumasok sa hotel. pagkadating ko sa room naroroon na si Tito Mel (make-up artist) pati si Tita Hidy at yung mga mababait na crew ng Nice Print Photography. 
• nagpahinga ako ng kaunti kasi, hindi ko na talaga kaya

ganyan kaputla yung mukha ko| no make-ups. 

• 4:00PM kahit gaano kasama yung pakiramdam ko, kinakailangan ko nang bumangon para make-upan na ako. 
• Habang minemakeupan, pilit akong pinapangiti ng photographer at videographer. Pero wala hinang hina na talaga ako. 
• pero tignan niyo naman ang resulta ng pagmemake up! :))) 

• matapos kong makupan ay nakakaramdam pa din ako ng hindi maganda kaya't pinilit kong magpahinga ng kahit papaano

featuring ate ara :))

• at heto ako pinipilit na maging cute despite being sick and all

• nakita ko itong picture na to, sobrang napa "uhhhhh" ako pagkatapos :"> 

Kuya fixing Papa's tie :">

• and so everyone in the room manage to lift me up and just put me inside "my gown"

• after that was the "photoshoot" i left the photographers with no choice but to have the shoot highlighting the sofa. haha. i was super duper kaduper duppy duper sick. sorry!

see my smile? i'm still happy! i look happy! i think i am happy? hahaha

• and here's a few photos from that comfy sofa

• next was a picture with kuya

• next was with papa

• followed by a picture with mama

• then came the family pictures

• and of course the wacky pictures

i so love them all!

• after that was the moment of truth, well. 

i think im doing a bit of praying here

• I WHEELED MYSELF ON MY OWN DEBUT (well, not actually, i think it was kuya [iporgot the name ill ask mama what his name was] who did the pushing hahaha) TALK ABOUT GRAND ENTRANCE eh? :))) 

• followed by the "real grand entrance"

• about the real grand entrance. ayoko ng may ESCORT! siguro dala na din na wala naman akong boyfriend (wag niyo kong hanapan!!) tapos nung sinuggest na kuya ko hmm.. napakamot lang ako sa ulo. sabi ko kay sir harvey (emcee), ayoko ng may escort kase DEBUT yun hindi showcase of escort bwahahaha. sabi niya din, mukha daw kasal kasi parang lagi na lang ganun, pag debut nageentrance may escort.
• karma ng di paghahanap ng escort i was escorted by my good friend Arvin. since 
• tinayo niya ko sa pagkakaupo ko sa wheelchair, which was unexpected kasi nakaya niya ko HAHAHA
• nagoffer siyang tutulungan niya ko which is good kasi di ko kayang tumayo
• at nung sinabe nang "let us welcome the debutant. ..." nasabi ko lang kay Arvin ikaw na bahala sakin 
• weird, cause despite being sick (which i guess by that time, only a few knows im sick) eh, i still manage to gracefully walk. seeeeee! i am still smiling. and look how awkwardly i am holding my gown, that was one flaw, masyado ko yatang pinagkagigilan yung hawak ko kay Arvin at sa gown ko. look you can see the white thing from my gown. hahahaha
• after my grand entrance was a prayer led by my cousin Fellis, I was accompanied by my brother on stage, I even told him kuya ayoko nang tumayo. then he said tiisin mo naaaaa. 

ang awkward sympre ng mukha ko dyan kase naman eeeeeee!!! 

• after the prayer was the cotillion. which lead to this next picture. this is me, kuya, and sir angel. eto yung mga panahong tinatanong ni sr angel kung kaya ko bang magsayaw. i told him gusto ko eh :(

• next is this picture telling me na hindi ko na kinakailangang lumabas pa dahil sa may stage na lang daw ako manggagaling yay! 

• Actualllyyyyyyy! 
• pinaglaban ko talaga na may malaking venue yung debut ko because i so want a cotillion
• like ever since 6 years old, i want to have a cotillion on my debut 
• so my parents got no choice but to go with it. yeahhhhh
• And here's a photo from the cotillion 

• To 
• ARVIN  - friend that i steal caps from
• ABIGAIL, MARK - pestfriend and bestfriend
• REGINE, ADRIAN  - c.a.t. buddies
• CHESCA, RAVEN - ninang and pamangkin
• KIM, JJ - not-sister and tatay
• MELAY, MIGS - closest third year friends
• LANZ - one reliable friend (reliable.reliable.rreliable.hahaha. nagjojoke ako dito kasi diba weliable dapat) 
• RAISSAH college bestfriend 
• sila yung labintatlong kaibigang tumupad ng pinakapinapangarap kong cotillion
• MR. ANGEL ANGELES
• ang choreographer kong bonggang bongga! salamat sir ng sobraaaaaaa >:D< 
• after the cotillion was dinner already, and before getting their foods, parang tradition na ata yung pipila muna sila para magpapicture sa celebrant
• siguro nakakadalawang table pa lang ako.. (first table ROSIT-family 2nd table halo halong friends rofl 3rd table CAT family next was ABBY's table then something bad happened)
• nagsuka ako. nasukahan ko yung gown ko. hihihihi. na naging dahilan para magpalit ako at puntahan ng hotel nurse at pagsabihan na wag na maggagalaw dahil kahit nanlalamig ako eh may lagnat pa din ako
• at dahil dun wala na din akong pictures pa with other guestssss
• habang nagdidinners sila at nagpapahinga ako eh kumakanta naman si Ms Jacq Dionisio at si Sr Harvey Ong habang isinisiwalat ang deepest darkest secrets ko. rofl.
• makatapos nun ay ang 18 roses na si mama ang sinayaw instead na ako 
• 18 ROSES
1. Kuya Joe-Ner older cousin
2. Jayson younger cousin
3. Sigfrid nephew 
4. Allen childhood friend
5. Lance childhood friend
6. CEDRIC BACSAL he wasn't able to dance. wahhhhh
7. Bryan was supposed to be part of my cotillion: close friend
8. Lara friendship
9. Roi sweetest brother
10. Raynor cutest cousin
11. Oliver was supposed to be part of my cotillion: mysterious friend
12. Anton always late friend (tie in that position with REGINE REYES and ADRIAN OCHOA)
13. Thomas bestfriend tomZ
14. Yanyan first guy college friend
15. Reyvin cutest college guy friend
16. Lans most patient college guy friend
17. Martin best college guy friend 
18. Kuya best brother! ROFL
• tapos ay ang 18 memories 

• may mga nagsalita na sobrang natouch ako
• may mga nagsalitang sobrang sabaw di ako nakikinig
• may mga nagsalitang sobrang haba di ako nakikinig
• pero sila yung 18 na pinakamalapit sa puso ko
1. Nanay Lilia lola
2. Mama INTENTIONALLY DI NAGMESSAGE| I DUNNO WHY. HAHAHA NAGDISAPPEAR SIYA 
3. Tita Delia favorite aunt
4. Ate Joy adopted sister
5. Melay longest friend
6. Chua gay friend uod
7. Larisa bestfriend
8. Jenica sisterforeverrrrr
9. Chesca ninang
10. Mark bestfriend JAM
11. Lolo Louie best lolo ever!
12. Reg kem = "kamaganak-regine-such-a-loser-muse-with-frame-buddy-forever"
13. Aian best guy friend - video wasn't played on the party, but got a copy.
14. Kim best not-sister ever
15. Abby one and only pest friend
16. Adri accounting buddy
17. Raissah the best college bestfriend 
18. Andy eating buddy
• after that finafast-forward na lahat ng mga kaganapan HAHAHAHA like hell! 
• 18 bills 

1. Tito King
2. Kuya RJ
3. Kuya Raf
4. Kuya Ryan
5. Tita Minyang
6. Tita Josie
7. Tita Cecille
8. Tita Lisa
9. Tita Presey
10. Tita Cynthia
11. Tita Jhovie
12. Tita Laih
13. Tita Reyna
14. Tita Sol
15. Tita Erlie
16. VP-Lucia
17. Ninang Ces
18. Ninang Loida

• 18 candles

1. JANNINE T H E  C O U S I N S
2. NINA 
3. ANDZ C O L L E G E  F R I E N D S
4. GEN
5. LAINE
6. MICHELLE 
7. XYZA T H E  G R A D E  S C H O O L  B U D D I E S
8. Eka
9. CHEY
10. EUNICE 
11. JIA BONITA T E A R  G A S  F R I E N D S
12. MK 
13. LADY P A P A  A' S
14. ALEXIS
15. EMKAY  T H E  G R E A T
16. ANGELLI
17. CHARREL  C . A . T . B R O T H E R S
18. GEPRINCE 

• 18 treasures

1. Dete Jham
2. Ate Lyka 
3. Tita Sally
4. Ninang Melda
5. Tita Grace
6. Tita Carol
7. Tita Rita
8. Tita Evenlyn 
9. Ninang Eloi 
10. Ninang Connie
11. Tita Tess 
12. Ninang Ays
13. Charlene 
14. Mav 
15. Gianna
16. Dang
17. Ate Effer
18. Ate Aica
• and then had my exit
• but they continued the program with the 18 wines

1. AUIE 
2. KESH 
3. MINA 
4. FIDES 
5. LOR
6. JANE
7. AYET 
8. KYRA
9. JOAN DUJALI
10. KIM 
11. VIKKI 
12. JULIUS 
13. SONNY 
14. YILIN 
15. MIGUEL 
16. CARL 
17. CARLWIN
18. MAO 

While the party continued at the 27th floor, I was back at our hotel room resting. Which was a total bummer! Also due to my family and hotel staff being soooooo tensed they forgot to give the thank-you cards and give the awards. (nagprepare ako ng awards about 6 awards din yun so sayanggggggggg nandito pa yung trophy, susunugin ko na siya soon. jk. hahaha)

So there, salitsalitan sila sa pagpunas sa akin ng cold compress, grabe lang. Ineexpect nila na makakatulog ako sa ginagawa nila. hahahaha. fun! I woke up feeling a little better (hindi pa din totoo). But just to be sure, after going home, Sunday afternoon, we went to St. Luke's Medical Center. Still nothing was found, just my low platelet count. 

Monday, hell I was feeling better. But since I had a low platelet count, nagpunta kami sa clinic sa Malabon para sa isang platelet count. 

Tuesday, I was fever free already. But just to be sure, nagpacheck na kami this time sa Hospital of the Infant Jesus. Feeling mayabang, tho meron na kaming baon na damit, alam namin na i was okay. Pero pagkatingin sa akin nung doctor sa emergency, I was diagnosed with dengue.

I've never been hospitalized (except nung baby). So imagine my fear and worry about everything. The next thing I knew, the guy nurse is already inserting needles on my left hand for dextrose. 

see how many tapes they put just for the needles to stop popping

Not to elaborate much, but I was hospitalized for one week. It was the most excruciating feeling, I ever felt in my entire existence. Especially this one night, where my veins just keep on popping, and a know-it-all-doctor keeps popping my veins out, and for that day alone I was injected for the dextrose about 6 times. 

Wow! 

I just turned eighteen and look where I first spend my legal days, inside a hospital! HA HA HA ! 

Ohkayyyy, in the end, I'm still lucky that despite having a stage 2 dengue I didn't experience blood transfusion (which happened to kuya before). 

But

• why do i need to be sick on the day that i have waited for 11 years?
• why do i need to be hospitalized for one week and be absent in a total of two weeks and my grades to suffer badly
• why? why? why?

IF I COULD

• turn back the time: 
• MAS PIPILITIN KO YUNG SARILI KO NA KAYANIN PARA MAS MAGANDA SANA YUNG PROGRAM KO :'(
• PIPILITIN KONG MAKIPARTY SA MGA BISITA KO KASE PARTY KO NAMAN YUN EH :'(

SERIOUSLY, no one can understand what I have gone through those days. Kasi, kahit sabihin na natin na naramdaman ng parents ko yung panghihinayang dahil sa laki ng gastos, eh paano pa kaya ako? Hindi madali kumita ng pera, pero mas mahirap yung masayang yung isang beses lang na pagkakataon para tuparin mo yung "ultimate na pangarap" mo. 

Kaya kayong mga magdedebut, stay indoors!

Maniwala kayo saken, I've been there, I should have done that!

"it took me almost 3 months for me to post this. sorry for being melodramatic with this matter, it's just that I've so wanted my debut to happen but look what happened."

But in the end, I am still glad that despite everything, I still got a great family and awesome friends!

"Lord, guide me always, guide us all always. Amen"