I wish I can but I can't

Maraming bagay na ata akong napanghawakan na sana kaya ko, pero hindi ko naman kaya. Yun bang, naduduwag sa kung ano mang maging kinahinatnan o kahahantungan. Ngayong gabi ang bumabagabag sa aking isipan ay ang... sana'y kaya kong magwakas ng isang walang saysay na ugnayan ngunit hindi ko kaya. 

Minsan ganun noh? Maglolook forward kang magestablish ng connection or relationahip sa isang tao. Mapapagtagumpayan mo ito dahil nakatuon ang iyong isip at damdamin dito. Habang tumatagal, naiisip mong hindi pala nararapat ang nabuong connection. Unti-unti, nilalason nito ang iyong pagkatao at napapapabuntong hininga na kung sana'y maari lamang bumalik ang nakaraan upang mas maagang nagising sa katotoohanang pagsisisihan sa kasalukuyan. 

Yup, I'm talking about how impossible is it for me to end a friendship. I've not yet attempted to do it. Maybe, in the past, I've lost friends but it was of mutual consent or a team effort. But to act alone is something I've never tried. You see, I'm the type of person who will try to reconnect with a friend from grade school and act as if not a day has gone by that we have not talked. In short, isa akong confident feeling close. 

I wish I had a friend's ability to just not give a damn about this kind of things. Ewan ko ba't lumaki akong trying hard na people-pleaser. Siguro dahil ang aking attempt to kindness and friendliness lang ang maiooffer ko sa isang tao. Meh!